"There are 2 ways to go through life, happy and unhappy. You would be amazed how much of this you can actually control...you alone control most of the world you live in." Wise words, left behind by a very wise man, my Daddy.
These words have been echoing in my head for months. I'd been unhappy for months, even longer. Not with my everything, just certain aspects. I am very happy with my family, friends, home, life in general.
It was my job. It just isn't for me. I've been sitting at a desk for years. And I've always done that, because I needed a job. I needed an income. I needed health insurance. And I knew how to do this, it was comfortable. What I forgot about, was that I also needed to be happy. And this did not make me happy.
So, with a lot of thought and a heaping scoop of support from my family, I have embarked upon a new journey. One that brings happiness to my heart.
Over the last many years, I have had many different opportunities to be a caregiver, a teacher, a friend. Volunteering for many different organizations has given me a feeling of completeness in my heart, where it makes me happy. I've learned a lot about myself through these experiences. And I've learned that my heart is in helping people. Helping them learn, grow, and recover. Helping them cry, laugh, and celebrate. And helping them through the day - whatever that may entail.
So what if I didn't just volunteer. What if I got paid to do things that made me feel good? What if I got paid to help people? What if I got paid to comfort people? How does one do this?
One becomes a Nurse.
Step 1 - Quit said 'Desk Job' - Check
Step 2 - Get new job as a CareGiver - Check
Step 3 - Enroll in school - Check
Step 4 - Get 2nd job with another Home Health agency - Check
Step 5 - Start school - Coming in 2 weeks!
This move has come with some serious sacrifices - like making literally half of my wage at the desk job and working evenings and weekends and no health insurance and no vacation days (with first company; however, the 2nd job I just picked up does offer these benefits, I just have to put in the hours to earn them first, I start on Monday - so, I'm working on it :) ) - but on the flip side, it has come with so many more rewards.
When I spend the day with a Client and she tells me that she wishes I could come every day "cause that girl who comes during the week can't cook worth a damn". Or when I help a client get into bed at night and she tells me "you'll be a great nurse, you have such a gentle touch". And learning all about World War II Fighter Jets from an Air Force veteran with Alzheimer's - so I learn the same things over and over like it's the first time every time. And when I can talk to and comfort a cancer patient going through both Radiation and Chemo treatments (who by the way has opened me up to Hallmark Channel movies - we share the box of tissues). These are the rewards that overshadow all of the other things that I am sacrificing at this time. These are the things that make my heart happy.
It's been almost a month since I quit my desk job. It's been almost a month since I came home crying. It's been almost a month since I've felt stressed in my job. In that month, I've felt that what I do does matter. I feel like what I do does make a difference. I feel like if I don't show up for work, there will be real consequences - not paperwork consequences, but feelings hurt consequences. And I do not like to hurt feelings. Especially those of the wonderful clients that I work with.
So there it is - I've quit my comfortable job to follow a dream of helping other people. It'll be a few years before I'm back into a comfortable routine - but those few years will be worth every single minute. And with my family's support, I'm ready to reach for the stars!
No comments:
Post a Comment