Goals and Baby Steps

In September of last year, I set a goal to lose 25 pounds and become healthier. 

I had done Weight Watchers previously and had great success...losing.  It was the keeping it off that was the issue.  I had gained back all the weight I had lost, and then some.  So, when I saw this picture of myself:

I about threw up in my mouth. 

WTF happened?!?!  I had worked so hard to get the weight off!  I realized that I had gained 'some' back, I just didn't realize how much! 

Immediately, I printed off this picture and put it on my desk.  This is my motivation picture, and it remains there still today.  So I could look at it every day and it would serve as a constant reminder that wearing my boyfriends clothes (while very comfortable) was not what I wanted. 

I wanted to be healthy.  Never did I really have a problem with the number on the scale.  Well, maybe a little bit, but my bigger focus was that I was not healthy.  I was not eating to provide a full balanced meal (unless you count bacon and butter as food groups).  I was not exercising to maintain a healthy inside.  I was simply not making healthy decisions for myself, and I was not setting a good example for my girls. 

Let me further explain this.  I was setting a good example for them in that I was comfortable in my own skin.  And by example, showing them that it is totally ok to be comfortable with the body you have.  It did not matter if I was pushing 2 Bills or if I was at my lowest weight ever, I would still walk around the house in next to nothing.  I am not ashamed of my body, not now and not ever.  This is the body I get.  What I do with it is up to me.  This is what I tell the girls too.  It's what's on the inside that counts.

So, what if the inside of you is not healthy?  What if bacon and butter really aren't food groups?  And what if the Doctor tells you that at 30, your cholesterol is so bad you're Heart Disease Walking?  What then?

Go back to Weight Watchers, duh!  So starting on October 10, 2011, I went back to my 'first' meeting.  And wouldn't you know it, the first thing I learned...everything in moderation is ok.  I learned to not deprive myself of anything.  If I want bacon, or ice cream, or beer, or cake, or white bread, or anything else that is 'not allowed' on other diets, I can have them.  And I could have as much as I wanted. 

This was about accountability.  Taking responsibility for my own food choices.  Taking responsibility for my own activity (or lack of).  I learned how to pick the better choice.  And wouldn't you know it, most of the time I liked the better choice better!

So, after about a year, I've finally dropped those 25 pounds!!  And it's been a struggle.  I love to eat things that are not nutritionally sound - especially salt - but I've also learned that I can get a salt fix from some cucumber slices sprinkled with sea salt, just as well as I can from a bag of potato chips.  Remembering these substitutions is key.  Now, when I want something sweet, dark chocolate is my go to.   If I'm craving crunchy, raw veggies crunch. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still a glutton during my "girl time".  Salt can be in no better form than ham and directly poured on my hashbrowns & cheese.   But picking up on the activity during this time helps even it out, right, maybe? :)

 Just the other night, I substituted greek yogurt for sour cream in a recipe, when I figured out the nutritional and PPV difference, it was incredible. And this is when it hit me.  I was so disappointed that it took me a whole year to drop 25 pounds.  But it was a good reminder that good things come in time.  Baby steps.  I cut 250 calories from 1 meal the other night.  Another 100 calories, I walked out on the treadmill on my break at work.   A year ago, I would have eaten those calories, and not walked on my work breaks.  A year ago, I was not moving much at all.  A year ago, I was pretty unhealthy. 

At my physical last month, my Doc was impressed with how my cholesterol is improving.  I'm still dangerous, but it's getting better.  Baby steps.  She told me to exercise, I told her to shut it. 

So while I've reached the number on the scale goal, I've still got healthy living goals to achieve.  Baby steps, Wii fit, and dates with the gym on my breaks.  Good Cholesterol, I'm coming...watch yourself!

2 By 2

I was sitting outside the other night and something occurred to me.  D and I must be direct decedents of Noah.

I was thinking:
2 Daughters
2 Dogs
2 Cats
2 Rodents
2 Blenders
2 Crock Pots
2 Apple Trees
2 Garages
You get the picture.  We have a lot of pairs in our home!

And as I'm thinking deeper about this, since I am such a deep thinker - we've tried to have more or less of all of many items.  But it always comes back to 2. 

We had 1 dog, then 4, then 1, then 2, then 3, now 2. 
We had 2 kittens, then 3, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 6, then 3, now 2. 

Somehow we always go back to 2. 

Maybe it's something underlying with my CDO ways, I don't know, but we just can't seem to have things in odd numbers.  Like the volume on the TV.  Or the number of projects I have going on at a time.  Or the number of pies baked.  Or the number of jars of veggies canned. 

Something is deeply rooted here in the preference to pairs....

All I Want for Christmas

**Disclaimer, I'm talking about shooting animals - just FYI, if you want to stop now. 
If not, don't say I didn't warn you.

We are still wrestling with our masked friends.  They continue to disturb everything they possibly can out at our house.  It's the fact that they have thumbs that really gets me.  It's seriously like having a toddler trying to deter them from coming back. 

We have 'pests' all the time.  After all we live in "The Country".  There are all kinds of critters out here.  I've also decided that Boxelder Bugs, qualify as critters!!  The deer eat the apples, we eat the deer, circle of life.  Racoons eat grain, cat food, kitten legs, we eat none of the above.  Food chain maybe fits here, not sure.  Just let me go with this - killing little critters is not something I ever imagined would be happening in my first hand life, so the struggle is still there.  I like to eat animals, yes.  I do not like to look at thier faces before I eat them, no. 

However, when they are as destructive as these little monsters, I'm considering sticking one of those fat boys in a crock pot with some BBQ sauce and eating it late night, outside my window, just to show that little bugger who has worked the shutter off, What's Up.  And I'll hold and stroke so lovingly the kitten that he attacked.  And when he looks at me with his little innocent eyes, I'll cry.  That probably isn't the best idea.  I'll just stay inside and let the rest of my family handle this problem. 

I had posted this picture to Facebook a couple weeks ago.



The funny part of this story is that D told me I had to shoot it, like that would ever happen.  To which I promptly replied that he had to shoot this creature - he is the Man, this is Man's work, I would just stay inside and make lunches for our family, this is Woman's work - and before I can finish this sentence, our little girl, a little Woman, comes tearing out of her room and asks if she can shoot it.  Proud Daddy Moment.  I did what any good Mom would do and grabbed the camera. 

I was worried about what would happen when it was actually time to pull the trigger. 

Now, mind you, this is the same child who last year when cleaning a deer, used the legs as telephones and had conversations with imaginary people while talking into the hoof.  It was rather disturbing. 

Nonetheless, I was still worried, she is my little angel, my kind hearted mini me, I could never do something like this, this is why I have D.  I was thinking she would get nervous and not be able to do it.  I was hoping that she would see it's eyes and change her mind.  I was praying that she would have some overwhelming feeling regarding stopping another heartbeat. 

But she didn't.

And she did it. 

And was so proud. 

And her Dad was so proud.

I threw up in my mouth and cried on the inside. 

So, a few days later during a long practice session - she says all she wants in her stocking for Christmas is "a new can of BB's". 

Lord help me, why does D steal all my girls?!?!?!