I had done Weight Watchers previously and had great success...losing. It was the keeping it off that was the issue. I had gained back all the weight I had lost, and then some. So, when I saw this picture of myself:
WTF happened?!?! I had worked so hard to get the weight off! I realized that I had gained 'some' back, I just didn't realize how much!
Immediately, I printed off this picture and put it on my desk. This is my motivation picture, and it remains there still today. So I could look at it every day and it would serve as a constant reminder that wearing my boyfriends clothes (while very comfortable) was not what I wanted.
I wanted to be healthy. Never did I really have a problem with the number on the scale. Well, maybe a little bit, but my bigger focus was that I was not healthy. I was not eating to provide a full balanced meal (unless you count bacon and butter as food groups). I was not exercising to maintain a healthy inside. I was simply not making healthy decisions for myself, and I was not setting a good example for my girls.
Let me further explain this. I was setting a good example for them in that I was comfortable in my own skin. And by example, showing them that it is totally ok to be comfortable with the body you have. It did not matter if I was pushing 2 Bills or if I was at my lowest weight ever, I would still walk around the house in next to nothing. I am not ashamed of my body, not now and not ever. This is the body I get. What I do with it is up to me. This is what I tell the girls too. It's what's on the inside that counts.
So, what if the inside of you is not healthy? What if bacon and butter really aren't food groups? And what if the Doctor tells you that at 30, your cholesterol is so bad you're Heart Disease Walking? What then?
Go back to Weight Watchers, duh! So starting on October 10, 2011, I went back to my 'first' meeting. And wouldn't you know it, the first thing I learned...everything in moderation is ok. I learned to not deprive myself of anything. If I want bacon, or ice cream, or beer, or cake, or white bread, or anything else that is 'not allowed' on other diets, I can have them. And I could have as much as I wanted.
This was about accountability. Taking responsibility for my own food choices. Taking responsibility for my own activity (or lack of). I learned how to pick the better choice. And wouldn't you know it, most of the time I liked the better choice better!
So, after about a year, I've finally dropped those 25 pounds!! And it's been a struggle. I love to eat things that are not nutritionally sound - especially salt - but I've also learned that I can get a salt fix from some cucumber slices sprinkled with sea salt, just as well as I can from a bag of potato chips. Remembering these substitutions is key. Now, when I want something sweet, dark chocolate is my go to. If I'm craving crunchy, raw veggies crunch.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still a glutton during my "girl time". Salt can be in no better form than ham and directly poured on my hashbrowns & cheese. But picking up on the activity during this time helps even it out, right, maybe? :)
Just the other night, I substituted greek yogurt for sour cream in a recipe, when I figured out the nutritional and PPV difference, it was incredible. And this is when it hit me. I was so disappointed that it took me a whole year to drop 25 pounds. But it was a good reminder that good things come in time. Baby steps. I cut 250 calories from 1 meal the other night. Another 100 calories, I walked out on the treadmill on my break at work. A year ago, I would have eaten those calories, and not walked on my work breaks. A year ago, I was not moving much at all. A year ago, I was pretty unhealthy.
At my physical last month, my Doc was impressed with how my cholesterol is improving. I'm still dangerous, but it's getting better. Baby steps. She told me to exercise, I told her to shut it.
So while I've reached the number on the scale goal, I've still got healthy living goals to achieve. Baby steps, Wii fit, and dates with the gym on my breaks. Good Cholesterol, I'm coming...watch yourself!
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