Yesterday, I get home from work and as I am pulling in the garage, Addie is running outside already. "Mom, dj kfdshafhsd jkhahkla hngjk a" and this random rambling went on for about 3 minutes straight, ending with "can I go to Reagan's house?". To which I respond, "What?" She goes back over the important details and still ends with "can I go now?".
As I watch her ride away on her bike, I am suddenly hit with the realization that my baby, is no longer a baby. And I am sad.
It makes me feel better to garden. It is decided that this will help me process the fact of life that we all grow up, and someday, my baby will have babies, oy vey!! So I get out all of my new seeds and new tools and everything in the garage I can find and drop it off at my new garden site on my way inside to change.
Walking into the house, I am greeted by our 3 dogs, who are terribly starved for attention since no one loves them. They immediately attach themselves to my knees and follow me relentlessly into the kitchen so I can at least set down my lunch bag and purse to properly greet them. They have decided that we need to go outside, so we go. In the front door and out the back door, with my 2 boys and 1 old girl in tow.
Guess what happens outside this time? Mariah gets home, and kindly reminds me that we need to go shopping for her interview at school tomorrow. She needs a 'nice' outfit. Oh crap. Of course I forgot that we needed to do this. And of course we have already put it off to the very last minute and there is no chance of me saying, can we go tomorrow. So we gather the pups and put them away to be on our merry way.
As we are driving, we are talking, of course, and although Ry is not my biological baby, she is, for all intents and purposes, my baby. Cause that's how I love her. And I am struck again, with the same "OMG Kids Grow Up" stick. Right in the freaking face. Who is this woman sitting next to me? Logical, Charming, Witty beyond belief, where the hell did she come from, and how the hell did she get into my car!!
We have a great time shopping, and she calls me old, and we get dinner and go home. A good time was had by all, and wouldn't you know it, I won't miss the season finale of Ultimate Fighter.
After we eat, I am so kindly reminded that Adeline also needs supplies for school tomorrow. Mind you, it is now almost 8:30pm.
So, off to Walmart we go. Me in my pissy attitude, and Addie in her jean shorts. We spend some time chatting on the way there. And by chatting, I mean me bitching about how we need to be more responsible and yadda, yadda, yadda. We have this conversation all the way to Walmart.
On the way home, I try to apologize for being a bitch, and a bad mom. She tells me, "Never go to that Hardee's. Amy went there one time and there was a bite out of her burger!" Instantly, I turn right around back into a bitch mode, hmmmm, I wonder why. Could it be because I am trying to apologize and she is completely ignoring me?? So, here I go again. She stops me mid-sentence and says, "Mom, I'm over it."
Again, here is that stick. Beating me, relentlessly, in the face. She is 10. She is also Spirited, Whimsical, and Smarter than I think I will ever be. I shut up. And let the stick beat me.
She talks all the way home. And I listen. And the stick is hitting me still, beating me, really freaking hard. It's all I can do to not cry. I look at her as we pull back in the garage and she says, cause she knows the look, "Oh Jeez Mom!" and gets out and goes inside, leaving me with my thoughts.
Deron says it's because I'm turning 30 this year. I don't think so. I don't know what I think. I do know that I think I don't want my babies to keep growing up, at least not so fast. And I also know that I never did get that gardening done.
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