Rule Breakers

We had a rule.  A simple rule.  No More Heartbeats. 

And of course, no one in this house can follow the rules.

So now, I'm sitting here in the dark, its 1:30 in the morning, I'm afraid to move a muscle, or make any noises, or even breathe for fear of waking the beast.

We've gotten a new puppy.  His name is Felon.  He is so cute it's a crime.  And he doesn't like his kennel.  And I'm not really good at letting him cry it out.  I'm  breaking the rules.  And probably wrecking our puppy.  In my defense, I couldn't do it with my human baby either, and she turned out ok. 

I'm almost feeling like a new Mom.  And I think that now I understand what it feels like to bring home the second baby.  You already have a good routine down, sleeping times, feeding times, potty times, etc.  And we have a big brother for our baby.  Simba is a WONDERFUL dog, an even better (tolerant) big brother.   And I'm very grateful for him.  Especially now.  I think this is how people get into the conundrum of feeling like they love 1 child more.  Simba has NEVER had an accident in our house.  Simba does not chew on anything.  Simba does not follow you around biting your feet and ankles.  He's a wonderful Fur Baby, and I am so thankful for him.  And at this point (it's now after 7am), I'm sitting here and almost questioning our decision to "have another baby". 

Please don't get me wrong.  I love this little boy.  Love, love, love him.  Love him like I would love a human baby.  And then it makes me think about Why.  Me?  The long-term self-proclaimed "Dog Hater"?  Love a dog?  Yes.  I do love my dogs.  And it's all because of another rule I broke, this guy.

The bestest ever dog that ever was.  He taught me all about a dogs love.  And why it's one of the best kinds of love there is.  Unconditional.  When we love a dog, we are rewarded with pure, unaltered, no holds barred love.  Brewtus was and always will be a very large piece of my heart.  He showed me it's ok to love fur.   And dammit, I do.

As I type this, my little villain, this Felon, has passed out cold from all the activity this morning.  And I can't even imagine my life without him.  All the "No Bite"s forgotten.  And my heart is swelling. 

We might not be having any more human babies, but that certainly doesn't mean we can't share our love with Fur Babies.  So see Sarah - we finally have that little boy you've been requesting :)  And isn't he just perfect!

Stop Overwhelming Me!

I get overwhelmed when I think of all the "other" things I want to do in my daily life. Scrapbook more, garden more, clean up the leaves outside, exercise, count points plus values, volunteer, sell more things online, clean out my poor forsaken garage, organize my buffet, get a handle on all of the things I want to do and then do them, etc.

I had a mental discussion with myself earlier this month and decided that I would carry a full size notebook with me to track all of the things that I wanted to track.  Track my eating, track my moods while I was eating, track my exercise, track my water intake, track my spending, track my irrational urge to spend money I don't have, track my communication (yes, I wanted to track that I touched base with at least 1 person who does not live in my house every day).  Really, there were so many things - I read too much online about how to track to make your life more efficient.  And then I thought to myself - WHAT!?  Are you really planning on introducing so many things into your life that you need a full sized notebook?  And really, how am I becoming more efficient if I am nailed down to this notebook?  And also, the notebook is big, I would have to switch purses, and I am just not at a point in my life where switching purses is going to end well.

So, what we've (me, myself, & I) decided is that we will focus on 1 thing every day.  This does not mean that all other matter of life will cease to exist. No, this just means, I will need to focus on just 1 thing.  Taking the overwhelming out of the equation.  If I want to obsess about my diet and exercise on the same day - sorry, 1 of these items will need to take a hike.  I can mentally only focus on 1 extra thing in a day.  There are too many other things that take up space in this pretty little head of mine.  And they all require attention - I am ensuring that overload does not occur. 

I plan on trying new recipes and a way to deal with my overabundance of apples, scrapbooking for the girls so they are caught up rather than being stuck in 4th and 9th grades, craft projects involving my ever growing stash of wine bottles, decorating our new home with all kinds of new fangled equipment, training a puppy without throwing it across a room, losing approximately 11 pounds, being able to do abdominal exercises without looking like a beached whale and many other new and exciting adventures. This could get very interesting.

So today, I am going to focus on "shipping items sold online".  Really, I should have done this weeks ago (literally, I forgot they were listed on ebay and got an email 3 days after it sold, that was last week)  I am a bit frightened of the feedback I will receive on this transaction.  I've contacted the buyer and hopefully mended the situation.  But here - on top of all the other things that will take up my day - the only thing that I NEED to get done today is "shipping items sold online".  Should more good come of my day, so be it. 

Memories

Many, many moons ago, Addie and I brought home my Dad's old computer.  Gramma Debbie had gotten a new one and Addie wanted to use this one for school.  We've been working on retrieving the photos from this computer forever.  Apparently I am not as technically inclined as I would like to think, so I had to use my back up plan - Kevin.  Whenever I need photos retrieved, Kevin is my go to guy.  He's super smart, and I very much appreciate him! 

So, I have had this CD for a while and been putting off looking through the pics - for obvious reasons - and when we did last night, we had such a fun time!  I just thought I would share some of these with all of my friends and family - Enjoy!

Teaching the kids to make funny faces - always a favorite pastime!

Heisman Pose - made famous not by the trophy, but by The Father

Isn't this how everyone plays Barbies with their Granddaughter?

Cuddles are always welcome

 

Check out her shirt :)  Traditions and Family are so important!!  We miss Lana Banana!!

 

 

There were so many more, but just too many to keep posting (cause you know there are stories for each and every photo that we looked)  Such wonderful memories, these are what fill the empty places in our hearts. 

TCRG - 2013

I've been trying my hand at this whole gardening thing now for a few years.
Things I've learned:
- I kill plants that require care
- Tomatoes like water
- Tomato cages are NOT as sturdy as one might think
- Beans and Peas are not fool proof
- Cabbage takes FOREVER
- Canning is a lot of work for what looks like little reward

This year, we have faced a lot of the same challenges we did last year - and they all relate to heat and water.  I am not sure what the people of Earth have done to really piss off Mother Nature (well, I have a few ideas!), but seriously, these 'Heat Waves' have got to stop!  The last time I remember rain - over a month ago.  There was a few sprinkle showers here and there and I could be wrong, maybe we got one in there somewhere - but generally, I'm not wrong. 

BUT on the plus side, I've learned valuable lessons these last couple of years.  Like watering is a really important component of growing a garden full of deliciousness.  Especially when you are growing water based fruits and veggies.  So, lesson learned. 

I harvested another bounty this morning and really I have nothing inspiring or funny or anything to say about my adventure in the garden this morning - other than I am so THANKFUL to have the opportunity to grow these things and feed my family without using poison in their food.  And even though not everything I wanted to grow actually grew this year, we are still blessed with enough to can these nummies for the winter. 

I've already made salsa and pizza sauce with some of our bounty and this morning picked enough tomatoes to do a batch of stewed.  It is a lot of work to do canning, I never realized that!  And now, I have a totally different outlook on it and I am so sad that I took it for granted all those years my Grammies would send me on my way with home canned goodies.  I can certainly appreciate all the love and hard work that went into each and every one of those jars!

So, after picking a full bucket of tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, peppers, and a couple honeydew this morning - I know what I'll be doing tonight.  And I'm going to love every minute of it!

Into the real world...

All kids grow up someday.  It's a fact of life.  They are born, they walk and talk, and start school...and then you blink...and then they graduate.  And go out into the world and you pray to God that you have done what you could to produce a productive member of society. 

Success, all of the above. 

There is pride...and then there is this pride.  I am filled to the eyeballs with pride.  I was spilling out of my eyeballs with this pride.  There really is nothing else to say.  I'm so proud of this little girl, and I am so proud of the young woman that she has become.  And I'm not scared to send her off into the real world.  And yes, we will prolong that whole sending off thing as long as possible. 

A Love Story

Since the day I met The D, I always knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.  Forever and ever, Amen.

Deron took me horseback riding - and I freaked out, promptly vacating the saddle - and he wasn't freaked out.  He met me at the truck and wrapped his big, strong arms around me - and it was all over.  In Love, that moment.  Stick a fork in me, done.  Forever and ever, Amen.

Last summer, we were at his Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary.  I got all sad because we won't get to be married for 60 years; unless of course, we both live to be like 112 years old.  He, being the romantic gentleman that he is, said that if we couldn't be married for 60 years, he would ask me 60 times.  He proceeded to ask me to marry him, for the 1st time. 

On our 6 year anniversary, we had planned a nice, quiet getaway.  No kids, no dogs, no work, no classes, no nothing, just us.  Well it certainly turned into an adventurous weekend! 

Sunday was marked with our tradition - a MN Wild Hockey Game. 

Awe, aren't we so cute!!

And then the unthinkable happened...


Oh, but don't worry, neither one of us saw this - we were too busy with the drunks behind us who kept falling down and spilling beer on us. 

So, on the way back to our hotel, there was an impromptu stop - at a church... in the middle of the night... in the rain...scary movie stuff!  And it was there that I was asked the most important question of my life

And of course I said yes. 

New Beginnings

"There are 2 ways to go through life, happy and unhappy.  You would be amazed how much of this you can actually control...you alone control most of the world you live in."  Wise words, left behind by a very wise man, my Daddy. 

These words have been echoing in my head for months.  I'd been unhappy for months, even longer.  Not with my everything, just certain aspects.  I am very happy with my family, friends, home, life in general. 

It was my job.  It just isn't for me.  I've been sitting at a desk for years.  And I've always done that, because I needed a job.  I needed an income.  I needed health insurance.  And I knew how to do this, it was comfortable.  What I forgot about, was that I also needed  to be happy.  And this did not make me happy. 

So, with a lot of thought and a heaping scoop of support from my family, I have embarked upon a new journey.  One that brings happiness to my heart. 

Over the last many years, I have had many different opportunities to be a caregiver, a teacher, a friend.  Volunteering for many different organizations has given me a feeling of completeness in my heart, where it makes me happy.  I've learned a lot about myself through these experiences.  And I've learned that my heart is in helping people.  Helping them learn, grow, and recover.  Helping them cry, laugh, and celebrate. And helping them through the day - whatever that may entail. 

So what if I didn't just volunteer.  What if I got paid to do things that made me feel good?  What if I got paid to help people?  What if I got paid to comfort people?  How does one do this?

One becomes a Nurse. 

Step 1 - Quit said 'Desk Job' - Check
Step 2 - Get new job as a CareGiver - Check
Step 3 - Enroll in school - Check
Step 4 - Get 2nd job with another Home Health agency - Check
Step 5 - Start school - Coming in 2 weeks!

This move has come with some serious sacrifices - like making literally half of my wage at the desk job and working evenings and weekends and no health insurance and no vacation days (with first company; however, the 2nd job I just picked up does offer these benefits, I just have to put in the hours to earn them first, I start on Monday - so, I'm working on it :) ) - but on the flip side, it has come with so many more rewards. 

When I spend the day with a Client and she tells me that she wishes I could come every day "cause that girl who comes during the week can't cook worth a damn".  Or when I help a client get into bed at night and she tells me "you'll be a great nurse, you have such a gentle touch".  And learning all about World War II Fighter Jets from an Air Force veteran with Alzheimer's - so I learn the same things over and over like it's the first time every time.  And when I can talk to and comfort a cancer patient going through both Radiation and Chemo treatments (who by the way has opened me up to Hallmark Channel movies - we share the box of tissues).  These are the rewards that overshadow all of the other things that I am sacrificing at this time.  These are the things that make my heart happy. 

It's been almost a month since I quit my desk job.  It's been almost a month since I came home crying.  It's been almost a month since I've felt stressed in my job.  In that month, I've felt that what I do does matter.  I feel like what I do does make a difference.  I feel like if I don't show up for work, there will be real consequences - not paperwork consequences, but feelings hurt consequences.  And I do not like to hurt feelings.  Especially those of the wonderful clients that I work with. 

So there it is - I've quit my comfortable job to follow a dream of helping other people.  It'll be a few years before I'm back into a comfortable routine - but those few years will be worth every single minute.  And with my family's support, I'm ready to reach for the stars!