"There are 2 ways to go through life, happy and unhappy. You would be amazed how much of this you can actually control...you alone control most of the world you live in." Wise words, left behind by a very wise man, my Daddy.
These words have been echoing in my head for months. I'd been unhappy for months, even longer. Not with my everything, just certain aspects. I am very happy with my family, friends, home, life in general.
It was my job. It just isn't for me. I've been sitting at a desk for years. And I've always done that, because I needed a job. I needed an income. I needed health insurance. And I knew how to do this, it was comfortable. What I forgot about, was that I also needed to be happy. And this did not make me happy.
So, with a lot of thought and a heaping scoop of support from my family, I have embarked upon a new journey. One that brings happiness to my heart.
Over the last many years, I have had many different opportunities to be a caregiver, a teacher, a friend. Volunteering for many different organizations has given me a feeling of completeness in my heart, where it makes me happy. I've learned a lot about myself through these experiences. And I've learned that my heart is in helping people. Helping them learn, grow, and recover. Helping them cry, laugh, and celebrate. And helping them through the day - whatever that may entail.
So what if I didn't just volunteer. What if I got paid to do things that made me feel good? What if I got paid to help people? What if I got paid to comfort people? How does one do this?
One becomes a Nurse.
Step 1 - Quit said 'Desk Job' - Check
Step 2 - Get new job as a CareGiver - Check
Step 3 - Enroll in school - Check
Step 4 - Get 2nd job with another Home Health agency - Check
Step 5 - Start school - Coming in 2 weeks!
This move has come with some serious sacrifices - like making literally half of my wage at the desk job and working evenings and weekends and no health insurance and no vacation days (with first company; however, the 2nd job I just picked up does offer these benefits, I just have to put in the hours to earn them first, I start on Monday - so, I'm working on it :) ) - but on the flip side, it has come with so many more rewards.
When I spend the day with a Client and she tells me that she wishes I could come every day "cause that girl who comes during the week can't cook worth a damn". Or when I help a client get into bed at night and she tells me "you'll be a great nurse, you have such a gentle touch". And learning all about World War II Fighter Jets from an Air Force veteran with Alzheimer's - so I learn the same things over and over like it's the first time every time. And when I can talk to and comfort a cancer patient going through both Radiation and Chemo treatments (who by the way has opened me up to Hallmark Channel movies - we share the box of tissues). These are the rewards that overshadow all of the other things that I am sacrificing at this time. These are the things that make my heart happy.
It's been almost a month since I quit my desk job. It's been almost a month since I came home crying. It's been almost a month since I've felt stressed in my job. In that month, I've felt that what I do does matter. I feel like what I do does make a difference. I feel like if I don't show up for work, there will be real consequences - not paperwork consequences, but feelings hurt consequences. And I do not like to hurt feelings. Especially those of the wonderful clients that I work with.
So there it is - I've quit my comfortable job to follow a dream of helping other people. It'll be a few years before I'm back into a comfortable routine - but those few years will be worth every single minute. And with my family's support, I'm ready to reach for the stars!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Year of New Tastes - Recipe 1 - Chicken Lo Mein
2012 was a year of getting healthy and making small changes in our home to become, and continue to be, healthy. So 2013, I've decided to institute something new - well, kind of.
2013 shall be the Year of New Tastes. I've seen this many places before, or variations of it - because as your Grandmother (who uses onions for flavoring, but "you can't even taste them!"), and your Mother have always told you - You'll never know if you like it, if you won't try it.
When Miss A was a wee one, we had a 3 bite rule. You had to take 3 bites, and if you still didn't like it, you didn't have to eat it. This rule was strictly enforced and as a wee one, she liked everything. Well, mostly everything. But, hey, at least she tried it! This whole 3 bite rule has gone to the wayside and now I will hear, "I don't like that.", "I already know I don't like that.", and the ever famous, "I tried it last time you made it." While the first 2 may be true - the third is a total cop out - and will now be monitored - by my Handy Dandy new Menu Planning, New Food Trying System.
Every week on our menu plan, there is 1 dish (sometimes 2, just cause I love Pinterest and cookbooks so much, I want to cook and eat all the time!) that is new. Something I have never made before. And can be made (or modified) to be healthy.
So, last week it was Chicken Lo Mein. Who knew I could make some pretty awesome Chinese Food in my own kitchen!! AND the best part - it was mostly healthy!!
This came from Kraftfoods.com (actually, it came from an old magazine that they used to send out, but you can find it on Kraftfoods.com) and it is absolutely delish!! I of course modified it a bit :)
Chicken Lo Mein - makes approx 18 Cup Servings - 7 WW PPV
1 pkg Whole Wheat Angel Hair Pasta
1 lb chicken breast - thin strips
1/2 Cup Kraft Toasted Asian Sesame Dressing
1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
1/2 onion - chopped
1/2 package frozen broccoli
5 carrots - sliced into strips - UNpeeled
unsalted peanuts
Cook Pasta according to package directions - start water at same time as chicken so it doesn't sit and get nasty - DO NOT add butter to your pasta, it will throw off the flavor.
Heat the toasted asian in a large skillet - add chicken. Cook until no longer pink.
Add onions, broccoli and carrots. Cover and cook until veggies are ready. Add soy sauce and stir to mix well.
After draining pasta, add to chicken and veggie mix. Toss to mix. Garnish with peanuts.
This was delicious, in my humble opinion. And the votes came in as follow:
Don't Make Again - 0
Make Again - 4
2013 shall be the Year of New Tastes. I've seen this many places before, or variations of it - because as your Grandmother (who uses onions for flavoring, but "you can't even taste them!"), and your Mother have always told you - You'll never know if you like it, if you won't try it.
When Miss A was a wee one, we had a 3 bite rule. You had to take 3 bites, and if you still didn't like it, you didn't have to eat it. This rule was strictly enforced and as a wee one, she liked everything. Well, mostly everything. But, hey, at least she tried it! This whole 3 bite rule has gone to the wayside and now I will hear, "I don't like that.", "I already know I don't like that.", and the ever famous, "I tried it last time you made it." While the first 2 may be true - the third is a total cop out - and will now be monitored - by my Handy Dandy new Menu Planning, New Food Trying System.
Every week on our menu plan, there is 1 dish (sometimes 2, just cause I love Pinterest and cookbooks so much, I want to cook and eat all the time!) that is new. Something I have never made before. And can be made (or modified) to be healthy.
So, last week it was Chicken Lo Mein. Who knew I could make some pretty awesome Chinese Food in my own kitchen!! AND the best part - it was mostly healthy!!
This came from Kraftfoods.com (actually, it came from an old magazine that they used to send out, but you can find it on Kraftfoods.com) and it is absolutely delish!! I of course modified it a bit :)
Chicken Lo Mein - makes approx 18 Cup Servings - 7 WW PPV
1 pkg Whole Wheat Angel Hair Pasta
1 lb chicken breast - thin strips
1/2 Cup Kraft Toasted Asian Sesame Dressing
1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
1/2 onion - chopped
1/2 package frozen broccoli
5 carrots - sliced into strips - UNpeeled
unsalted peanuts
Cook Pasta according to package directions - start water at same time as chicken so it doesn't sit and get nasty - DO NOT add butter to your pasta, it will throw off the flavor.
Heat the toasted asian in a large skillet - add chicken. Cook until no longer pink.
Add onions, broccoli and carrots. Cover and cook until veggies are ready. Add soy sauce and stir to mix well.
After draining pasta, add to chicken and veggie mix. Toss to mix. Garnish with peanuts.
This was delicious, in my humble opinion. And the votes came in as follow:
Don't Make Again - 0
Make Again - 4
Saturday, January 5, 2013
2012 in Review
So, I'm sitting here thinking about all the things I want to do for 2013 - and it dawns on me that there are a lot of great things that happened to me in 2012!
Let's reminisce shall we :)
In January, my Baby Girl turned 11. She officially became a "Tween". My Baby Girl, while she will always be my Baby Girl, is a Little Lady. And she has taught me A LOT this year - about listening, about being a friend, about being a parent, and about life in general. She is a wise young grasshopper! She had a big year, and learned a lot as well. We are very blessed to have this little girl in our lives every single day, love her to bits and pieces.
In February, I signed up to start teaching a Life Skills class to a local place for kids who need some 'help'. At first, I only wanted to be a part of the program where we teach them to grocery shop, use coupons, and cook. Really, who wouldn't, come on! But I started at the beginning, just like everyone else, and wouldn't ya know it - I LEARNED SO MUCH!! And I absolutely LOVE it! I am still involved in this program and go visit the kids once a week for an hour and we cover all kinds of topics. And true to my life and how it works - I've learned more from these kids than they have from me. I am a caring person, naturally. I am a nurturing person, naturally. And I want to put all of these kids in my pocket and take them all home. I am not cut out to do the kind of work that the folks who work here do on a daily basis. Yes, there are success stories, and I get to share in the joy that these kids experience when they get a good grade on a test, or when they learn a new skill, or show a new interest in going to college, or when they successfully leave the program. These are all amazing experiences to share in; but of course, there are the few who don't leave successfully, and I applaud the workers here because truly it is a special kind of person to be here and help these kids. This has been a great opportunity for me, and I am thankful that I have been able to meet and be a part of these kids lives for the last year.
In March, my sisters came to see me!! This was a highlight of my year! Not too many people have made the trek to visit me in my new Locale, but they did!! It was so nice to have both my sisters at my house and enjoy some Sister Time somewhere other than the "Black Hole of Drama" (that's my pet name for Mankato!). I love my sisters, it was definitely a highlight that they came down!
In April, my sweet girl, KV, went to the Rainbow Bridge to await my arrival and we shall cross together. This was definitely not a highlight, but it was definitely a momentous occasion as I had no idea how hard that would be. I thought I knew, but I had no idea. I do not look forward to having my heart broken like that ever again.
And the very next day, D and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Again, a momentous occasion as this is a really freaking long time!! D is the Peanut Butter to my Jelly. And we couldn't fit together more perfect. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I want to punch him in the throat, but I don't. Mostly because I would miss him too much while I was sitting in jail ;)
In May, Miss A started playing softball. And she absolutely LOVED it!! We saw great improvement in her throughout the summer. And her attitude towards hard work, practice, and teamwork - while always a good attitude - improved to levels I would not have expected out of an 11 year old girl. Both of the girls finished up the school year with wonderful report cards and set out to have a great summer vacation!
In June, my littlest sister made ANOTHER trek to see me!! It is so nice to have my family come down and visit. Have I mentioned that? Cause it's one of my favorite things in the world. Like Ever. We didn't do a whole lot, she got to spend some time with the teenagers and also helped Miss A with her technological gadgets that we adults just don't get. She is a nerd, technology is a gift.
In July, well, let's just sum up July by saying that Gardening in 1 million degree summers is a nightmare. There was also unwelcome intruders that made a home in the garden this summer. We've not had to deal with bugs before, this summer, we did. And every bug I met out there, bit me. We had worked so hard getting together a bigger garden, mixing in fertilizer, building a dog-proof fence (that is not dog proof BTW), and getting in all kinds of fruits and vegetables that we had not previously tried. We had more room this year, we were going to spend so much time canning beans and tomatoes, and making strawberry jam and wine. But, alas, the heat (and my lack of motivation to get my behind out there in the sweltering heat to water, weed, and properly care for said garden) brought us low yields. So low in fact, that we really only ended up with tomatoes. This is not so bad, we made salsa, pasta sauce, stewed toms, diced toms, all kinds of tomato products - but not nearly enough to last through the winter as according to the original plan.
In August, we finally took a much needed family vacation. Our family celebrated Gramma's 'milestone' birthday and retirement, as well as Auntie L's 'milestone' birthday at Vacationer's Inn in Alexandria, MN. We had a great time relaxing and spending time together playing games and doing puzzles. My cousin even let us borrow 'Ol Red for the week so we could take our kids out fishing and make all kinds of new memories with them in the same boat that holds so many great memories for me.
In September, the 4th annual Cedar Rapids Walk to Defeat ALS was held. This was a huge year in terms of planning and preparations! As a small committee of 3 dedicated folks, this was a challenge, but nonetheless, the challenge was met and the outcome was INCREDIBLE!! We were able to raise $49,715.95 - just $284.05 short of our goal. While we didn't meet our fundraising goal - we had a record breaking number of walkers and new teams. The ALS Association needs the money for the research and for patient care. For me personally, it is about getting the awareness out there, bringing more people into the loop and letting them know about this devastating, fatal disease. ALS Warriors are my heros - I can not imagine waking up every single day, knowing that I was going to die. And these people do it with courage, grace, and dignity. Everyone I have met as a result of ALS, is truly a blessing in my life and I am Thankful for each and every one of them!
In October, my middle sister finally joined The Dirty 30's Club :) It's crazy to think that she is 30 now too, that just makes it that much more real that I am over 30! Miss A and I made the trip to the "Black Hole of Drama" to help her celebrate. We even spent a little extra drive time on Sunday so that we could see Grandma and Grandpa 'Arizona'. It was so nice to see them and spend a warm, fall afternoon at the park and cleaning up some leaves. I love my Gram and Grandpa, we will for sure make a point of coming to visit more in 2013!
In November, I had a personally difficult month. On the anniversary of my Dad's death, my good friend joined the "I've Lost A Parent" club. It's not a fun club, don't rush out looking for membership cards. Dealing with the time of year where we said goodbye to the BEST (I don't care what anyone says, MY Dad, Larry Kelly, truly was THE BEST DAD EVER!!) Dad that anyone could ever be blessed with is hard enough. We reflected on a lot of the life lessons that he taught me, directly and indirectly. This pain was doubled now by also adding in another wonderful "Nana" who welcomed our family into hers. She welcomed us all with open arms and an open heart. We were blessed to have her in our lives, and continue to have her wisdom come through to us as well. I know my Dad was up in Heaven waiting for her, to show her the ropes, and show her how to mess with those she left behind. Yes, mess with. Because they never truly leave us.
We also hosted Thanksgiving for D's family for the 2nd year. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having company and hosting parties!! Our house gets really small, really fast - but do I care? NO!! Being with family is what it's all about. And next year, we'll have a basement :)
In December, our Oldest Spawn turned 18. A real ADULT now. I don't like this one bit. Not because I am afraid of anything, she is the most level headed and dare I say responsible young lady I know!! She really is wonderful and has a great head on her shoulders. But, can't they just stay young and in your home forever?! Can't she just be our daughter for a while longer? I know, I know, she'll always be our daughter. It's the other titles (that I know I will be so proud of her for) that come along with being a grown up that I'm having trouble with. College Student, College Graduate, Doctor, Wife, Mother (although, I am super excited to have Grandbabies someday!) - you get the picture. We celebrated with Bingo. We lost. But, we had fun and that's all that really matters :)
So - 2012 wasn't such a bad year. And there were obviously things that happened that were wonderful and not so wonderful that I chose not to write about. But there's the summary - Here's to 2013 and a whole new list of memories and milestones.
Let's reminisce shall we :)
In January, my Baby Girl turned 11. She officially became a "Tween". My Baby Girl, while she will always be my Baby Girl, is a Little Lady. And she has taught me A LOT this year - about listening, about being a friend, about being a parent, and about life in general. She is a wise young grasshopper! She had a big year, and learned a lot as well. We are very blessed to have this little girl in our lives every single day, love her to bits and pieces.
In February, I signed up to start teaching a Life Skills class to a local place for kids who need some 'help'. At first, I only wanted to be a part of the program where we teach them to grocery shop, use coupons, and cook. Really, who wouldn't, come on! But I started at the beginning, just like everyone else, and wouldn't ya know it - I LEARNED SO MUCH!! And I absolutely LOVE it! I am still involved in this program and go visit the kids once a week for an hour and we cover all kinds of topics. And true to my life and how it works - I've learned more from these kids than they have from me. I am a caring person, naturally. I am a nurturing person, naturally. And I want to put all of these kids in my pocket and take them all home. I am not cut out to do the kind of work that the folks who work here do on a daily basis. Yes, there are success stories, and I get to share in the joy that these kids experience when they get a good grade on a test, or when they learn a new skill, or show a new interest in going to college, or when they successfully leave the program. These are all amazing experiences to share in; but of course, there are the few who don't leave successfully, and I applaud the workers here because truly it is a special kind of person to be here and help these kids. This has been a great opportunity for me, and I am thankful that I have been able to meet and be a part of these kids lives for the last year.
In March, my sisters came to see me!! This was a highlight of my year! Not too many people have made the trek to visit me in my new Locale, but they did!! It was so nice to have both my sisters at my house and enjoy some Sister Time somewhere other than the "Black Hole of Drama" (that's my pet name for Mankato!). I love my sisters, it was definitely a highlight that they came down!
In April, my sweet girl, KV, went to the Rainbow Bridge to await my arrival and we shall cross together. This was definitely not a highlight, but it was definitely a momentous occasion as I had no idea how hard that would be. I thought I knew, but I had no idea. I do not look forward to having my heart broken like that ever again.
And the very next day, D and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Again, a momentous occasion as this is a really freaking long time!! D is the Peanut Butter to my Jelly. And we couldn't fit together more perfect. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I want to punch him in the throat, but I don't. Mostly because I would miss him too much while I was sitting in jail ;)
In May, Miss A started playing softball. And she absolutely LOVED it!! We saw great improvement in her throughout the summer. And her attitude towards hard work, practice, and teamwork - while always a good attitude - improved to levels I would not have expected out of an 11 year old girl. Both of the girls finished up the school year with wonderful report cards and set out to have a great summer vacation!
In June, my littlest sister made ANOTHER trek to see me!! It is so nice to have my family come down and visit. Have I mentioned that? Cause it's one of my favorite things in the world. Like Ever. We didn't do a whole lot, she got to spend some time with the teenagers and also helped Miss A with her technological gadgets that we adults just don't get. She is a nerd, technology is a gift.
In July, well, let's just sum up July by saying that Gardening in 1 million degree summers is a nightmare. There was also unwelcome intruders that made a home in the garden this summer. We've not had to deal with bugs before, this summer, we did. And every bug I met out there, bit me. We had worked so hard getting together a bigger garden, mixing in fertilizer, building a dog-proof fence (that is not dog proof BTW), and getting in all kinds of fruits and vegetables that we had not previously tried. We had more room this year, we were going to spend so much time canning beans and tomatoes, and making strawberry jam and wine. But, alas, the heat (and my lack of motivation to get my behind out there in the sweltering heat to water, weed, and properly care for said garden) brought us low yields. So low in fact, that we really only ended up with tomatoes. This is not so bad, we made salsa, pasta sauce, stewed toms, diced toms, all kinds of tomato products - but not nearly enough to last through the winter as according to the original plan.
In August, we finally took a much needed family vacation. Our family celebrated Gramma's 'milestone' birthday and retirement, as well as Auntie L's 'milestone' birthday at Vacationer's Inn in Alexandria, MN. We had a great time relaxing and spending time together playing games and doing puzzles. My cousin even let us borrow 'Ol Red for the week so we could take our kids out fishing and make all kinds of new memories with them in the same boat that holds so many great memories for me.
In September, the 4th annual Cedar Rapids Walk to Defeat ALS was held. This was a huge year in terms of planning and preparations! As a small committee of 3 dedicated folks, this was a challenge, but nonetheless, the challenge was met and the outcome was INCREDIBLE!! We were able to raise $49,715.95 - just $284.05 short of our goal. While we didn't meet our fundraising goal - we had a record breaking number of walkers and new teams. The ALS Association needs the money for the research and for patient care. For me personally, it is about getting the awareness out there, bringing more people into the loop and letting them know about this devastating, fatal disease. ALS Warriors are my heros - I can not imagine waking up every single day, knowing that I was going to die. And these people do it with courage, grace, and dignity. Everyone I have met as a result of ALS, is truly a blessing in my life and I am Thankful for each and every one of them!
In October, my middle sister finally joined The Dirty 30's Club :) It's crazy to think that she is 30 now too, that just makes it that much more real that I am over 30! Miss A and I made the trip to the "Black Hole of Drama" to help her celebrate. We even spent a little extra drive time on Sunday so that we could see Grandma and Grandpa 'Arizona'. It was so nice to see them and spend a warm, fall afternoon at the park and cleaning up some leaves. I love my Gram and Grandpa, we will for sure make a point of coming to visit more in 2013!
In November, I had a personally difficult month. On the anniversary of my Dad's death, my good friend joined the "I've Lost A Parent" club. It's not a fun club, don't rush out looking for membership cards. Dealing with the time of year where we said goodbye to the BEST (I don't care what anyone says, MY Dad, Larry Kelly, truly was THE BEST DAD EVER!!) Dad that anyone could ever be blessed with is hard enough. We reflected on a lot of the life lessons that he taught me, directly and indirectly. This pain was doubled now by also adding in another wonderful "Nana" who welcomed our family into hers. She welcomed us all with open arms and an open heart. We were blessed to have her in our lives, and continue to have her wisdom come through to us as well. I know my Dad was up in Heaven waiting for her, to show her the ropes, and show her how to mess with those she left behind. Yes, mess with. Because they never truly leave us.
We also hosted Thanksgiving for D's family for the 2nd year. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having company and hosting parties!! Our house gets really small, really fast - but do I care? NO!! Being with family is what it's all about. And next year, we'll have a basement :)
In December, our Oldest Spawn turned 18. A real ADULT now. I don't like this one bit. Not because I am afraid of anything, she is the most level headed and dare I say responsible young lady I know!! She really is wonderful and has a great head on her shoulders. But, can't they just stay young and in your home forever?! Can't she just be our daughter for a while longer? I know, I know, she'll always be our daughter. It's the other titles (that I know I will be so proud of her for) that come along with being a grown up that I'm having trouble with. College Student, College Graduate, Doctor, Wife, Mother (although, I am super excited to have Grandbabies someday!) - you get the picture. We celebrated with Bingo. We lost. But, we had fun and that's all that really matters :)
So - 2012 wasn't such a bad year. And there were obviously things that happened that were wonderful and not so wonderful that I chose not to write about. But there's the summary - Here's to 2013 and a whole new list of memories and milestones.
Friday, November 30, 2012
I'm a Nerd
I remember when I was about 10ish, we had a babysitter who had gotten in trouble for calling her little sister a Nerd. As part of her punishment, she had to come up with a positive meaning for NERD. It stuck with me:
Never
Ending
Radical
Dude(ette)
and I wear the Nerd badge proudly...most days.
I've discovered Pinterest. This is where my Inner Nerd is really starting to shine! If you follow me, you will start to see some of these projects I've done, with our own little twists. But what really gets me, is that there isn't just a few projects that I want to do. It's ALL of them. But woe is me, I am still in need of a laminator, cricut system, scissors with a sharp edge, and heavy duty magnets.
As I'm standing in my yard last night, looking around and thinking about all that I would like to do, I realized something. Sometimes, I overwhelm myself.
And then I went inside and looked around, and remembered all of the things that I want to do inside the house. Yes, sometimes, I overwhelm myself.
When the To-Do list is longer than there are days in a year, it gets a bit scary. And when I think about how much work is involved, I start to panic. I used to be really good at getting down and dirty and just getting things done. A real go-getter. Nowadays, not so much. I would rather be spending time with my family, not doing work. Yes, gardening and baking and crafting are wonderful times to visit with the girls and talk about our days and stuff in our lives. They don't want to do the other stuff. The hard stuff. Like pack up the inside of the garage. Or move rock. Or put away laundry.
Low and behold, some of these projects that I want to do...they WANT to do too! Addie loves to do crafts, especially ones she can wear and use. Ry likes to bake. Well not really, but she sure does enjoy the eating part! But she does like things that make you feel good or treats we could make for her HorseChildren.
So picking projects that are fun for all of us is the goal. And for D too, there are plenty of projects that I would like to do that he may also enjoy (some involve using a blow torch even!). Please be expecting lots of "Homemade With Love" gifts from our house this year :)
I've got a list. I've got some ingredients. I've got a sewing machine. I've got mason jars and mismatched china pieces. I've even got a borrowed Cricut System! And I've got a plan. Baby steps. One project at a time. We are all set. Almost.
If you don't follow me on Pinterest, you should, I'm a Creative Genius! Just kidding, but I'm trying.
Never
Ending
Radical
Dude(ette)
and I wear the Nerd badge proudly...most days.
I've discovered Pinterest. This is where my Inner Nerd is really starting to shine! If you follow me, you will start to see some of these projects I've done, with our own little twists. But what really gets me, is that there isn't just a few projects that I want to do. It's ALL of them. But woe is me, I am still in need of a laminator, cricut system, scissors with a sharp edge, and heavy duty magnets.
As I'm standing in my yard last night, looking around and thinking about all that I would like to do, I realized something. Sometimes, I overwhelm myself.
And then I went inside and looked around, and remembered all of the things that I want to do inside the house. Yes, sometimes, I overwhelm myself.
When the To-Do list is longer than there are days in a year, it gets a bit scary. And when I think about how much work is involved, I start to panic. I used to be really good at getting down and dirty and just getting things done. A real go-getter. Nowadays, not so much. I would rather be spending time with my family, not doing work. Yes, gardening and baking and crafting are wonderful times to visit with the girls and talk about our days and stuff in our lives. They don't want to do the other stuff. The hard stuff. Like pack up the inside of the garage. Or move rock. Or put away laundry.
Low and behold, some of these projects that I want to do...they WANT to do too! Addie loves to do crafts, especially ones she can wear and use. Ry likes to bake. Well not really, but she sure does enjoy the eating part! But she does like things that make you feel good or treats we could make for her HorseChildren.
So picking projects that are fun for all of us is the goal. And for D too, there are plenty of projects that I would like to do that he may also enjoy (some involve using a blow torch even!). Please be expecting lots of "Homemade With Love" gifts from our house this year :)
I've got a list. I've got some ingredients. I've got a sewing machine. I've got mason jars and mismatched china pieces. I've even got a borrowed Cricut System! And I've got a plan. Baby steps. One project at a time. We are all set. Almost.
If you don't follow me on Pinterest, you should, I'm a Creative Genius! Just kidding, but I'm trying.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Goals and Baby Steps
In September of last year, I set a goal to lose 25 pounds and become healthier.
I had done Weight Watchers previously and had great success...losing. It was the keeping it off that was the issue. I had gained back all the weight I had lost, and then some. So, when I saw this picture of myself:
I about threw up in my mouth.
WTF happened?!?! I had worked so hard to get the weight off! I realized that I had gained 'some' back, I just didn't realize how much!
Immediately, I printed off this picture and put it on my desk. This is my motivation picture, and it remains there still today. So I could look at it every day and it would serve as a constant reminder that wearing my boyfriends clothes (while very comfortable) was not what I wanted.
I wanted to be healthy. Never did I really have a problem with the number on the scale. Well, maybe a little bit, but my bigger focus was that I was not healthy. I was not eating to provide a full balanced meal (unless you count bacon and butter as food groups). I was not exercising to maintain a healthy inside. I was simply not making healthy decisions for myself, and I was not setting a good example for my girls.
Let me further explain this. I was setting a good example for them in that I was comfortable in my own skin. And by example, showing them that it is totally ok to be comfortable with the body you have. It did not matter if I was pushing 2 Bills or if I was at my lowest weight ever, I would still walk around the house in next to nothing. I am not ashamed of my body, not now and not ever. This is the body I get. What I do with it is up to me. This is what I tell the girls too. It's what's on the inside that counts.
So, what if the inside of you is not healthy? What if bacon and butter really aren't food groups? And what if the Doctor tells you that at 30, your cholesterol is so bad you're Heart Disease Walking? What then?
Go back to Weight Watchers, duh! So starting on October 10, 2011, I went back to my 'first' meeting. And wouldn't you know it, the first thing I learned...everything in moderation is ok. I learned to not deprive myself of anything. If I want bacon, or ice cream, or beer, or cake, or white bread, or anything else that is 'not allowed' on other diets, I can have them. And I could have as much as I wanted.
This was about accountability. Taking responsibility for my own food choices. Taking responsibility for my own activity (or lack of). I learned how to pick the better choice. And wouldn't you know it, most of the time I liked the better choice better!
So, after about a year, I've finally dropped those 25 pounds!! And it's been a struggle. I love to eat things that are not nutritionally sound - especially salt - but I've also learned that I can get a salt fix from some cucumber slices sprinkled with sea salt, just as well as I can from a bag of potato chips. Remembering these substitutions is key. Now, when I want something sweet, dark chocolate is my go to. If I'm craving crunchy, raw veggies crunch.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still a glutton during my "girl time". Salt can be in no better form than ham and directly poured on my hashbrowns & cheese. But picking up on the activity during this time helps even it out, right, maybe? :)
Just the other night, I substituted greek yogurt for sour cream in a recipe, when I figured out the nutritional and PPV difference, it was incredible. And this is when it hit me. I was so disappointed that it took me a whole year to drop 25 pounds. But it was a good reminder that good things come in time. Baby steps. I cut 250 calories from 1 meal the other night. Another 100 calories, I walked out on the treadmill on my break at work. A year ago, I would have eaten those calories, and not walked on my work breaks. A year ago, I was not moving much at all. A year ago, I was pretty unhealthy.
At my physical last month, my Doc was impressed with how my cholesterol is improving. I'm still dangerous, but it's getting better. Baby steps. She told me to exercise, I told her to shut it.
So while I've reached the number on the scale goal, I've still got healthy living goals to achieve. Baby steps, Wii fit, and dates with the gym on my breaks. Good Cholesterol, I'm coming...watch yourself!
I had done Weight Watchers previously and had great success...losing. It was the keeping it off that was the issue. I had gained back all the weight I had lost, and then some. So, when I saw this picture of myself:
WTF happened?!?! I had worked so hard to get the weight off! I realized that I had gained 'some' back, I just didn't realize how much!
Immediately, I printed off this picture and put it on my desk. This is my motivation picture, and it remains there still today. So I could look at it every day and it would serve as a constant reminder that wearing my boyfriends clothes (while very comfortable) was not what I wanted.
I wanted to be healthy. Never did I really have a problem with the number on the scale. Well, maybe a little bit, but my bigger focus was that I was not healthy. I was not eating to provide a full balanced meal (unless you count bacon and butter as food groups). I was not exercising to maintain a healthy inside. I was simply not making healthy decisions for myself, and I was not setting a good example for my girls.
Let me further explain this. I was setting a good example for them in that I was comfortable in my own skin. And by example, showing them that it is totally ok to be comfortable with the body you have. It did not matter if I was pushing 2 Bills or if I was at my lowest weight ever, I would still walk around the house in next to nothing. I am not ashamed of my body, not now and not ever. This is the body I get. What I do with it is up to me. This is what I tell the girls too. It's what's on the inside that counts.
So, what if the inside of you is not healthy? What if bacon and butter really aren't food groups? And what if the Doctor tells you that at 30, your cholesterol is so bad you're Heart Disease Walking? What then?
Go back to Weight Watchers, duh! So starting on October 10, 2011, I went back to my 'first' meeting. And wouldn't you know it, the first thing I learned...everything in moderation is ok. I learned to not deprive myself of anything. If I want bacon, or ice cream, or beer, or cake, or white bread, or anything else that is 'not allowed' on other diets, I can have them. And I could have as much as I wanted.
This was about accountability. Taking responsibility for my own food choices. Taking responsibility for my own activity (or lack of). I learned how to pick the better choice. And wouldn't you know it, most of the time I liked the better choice better!
So, after about a year, I've finally dropped those 25 pounds!! And it's been a struggle. I love to eat things that are not nutritionally sound - especially salt - but I've also learned that I can get a salt fix from some cucumber slices sprinkled with sea salt, just as well as I can from a bag of potato chips. Remembering these substitutions is key. Now, when I want something sweet, dark chocolate is my go to. If I'm craving crunchy, raw veggies crunch.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still a glutton during my "girl time". Salt can be in no better form than ham and directly poured on my hashbrowns & cheese. But picking up on the activity during this time helps even it out, right, maybe? :)
Just the other night, I substituted greek yogurt for sour cream in a recipe, when I figured out the nutritional and PPV difference, it was incredible. And this is when it hit me. I was so disappointed that it took me a whole year to drop 25 pounds. But it was a good reminder that good things come in time. Baby steps. I cut 250 calories from 1 meal the other night. Another 100 calories, I walked out on the treadmill on my break at work. A year ago, I would have eaten those calories, and not walked on my work breaks. A year ago, I was not moving much at all. A year ago, I was pretty unhealthy.
At my physical last month, my Doc was impressed with how my cholesterol is improving. I'm still dangerous, but it's getting better. Baby steps. She told me to exercise, I told her to shut it.
So while I've reached the number on the scale goal, I've still got healthy living goals to achieve. Baby steps, Wii fit, and dates with the gym on my breaks. Good Cholesterol, I'm coming...watch yourself!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
2 By 2
I was sitting outside the other night and something occurred to me. D and I must be direct decedents of Noah.
I was thinking:
2 Daughters
2 Dogs
2 Cats
2 Rodents
2 Blenders
2 Crock Pots
2 Apple Trees
2 Garages
You get the picture. We have a lot of pairs in our home!
And as I'm thinking deeper about this, since I am such a deep thinker - we've tried to have more or less of all of many items. But it always comes back to 2.
We had 1 dog, then 4, then 1, then 2, then 3, now 2.
We had 2 kittens, then 3, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 6, then 3, now 2.
Somehow we always go back to 2.
Maybe it's something underlying with my CDO ways, I don't know, but we just can't seem to have things in odd numbers. Like the volume on the TV. Or the number of projects I have going on at a time. Or the number of pies baked. Or the number of jars of veggies canned.
Something is deeply rooted here in the preference to pairs....
I was thinking:
2 Daughters
2 Dogs
2 Cats
2 Rodents
2 Blenders
2 Crock Pots
2 Apple Trees
2 Garages
You get the picture. We have a lot of pairs in our home!
And as I'm thinking deeper about this, since I am such a deep thinker - we've tried to have more or less of all of many items. But it always comes back to 2.
We had 1 dog, then 4, then 1, then 2, then 3, now 2.
We had 2 kittens, then 3, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 6, then 3, now 2.
Somehow we always go back to 2.
Maybe it's something underlying with my CDO ways, I don't know, but we just can't seem to have things in odd numbers. Like the volume on the TV. Or the number of projects I have going on at a time. Or the number of pies baked. Or the number of jars of veggies canned.
Something is deeply rooted here in the preference to pairs....
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
All I Want for Christmas
**Disclaimer, I'm talking about shooting animals - just FYI, if you want to stop now.
If not, don't say I didn't warn you.
We are still wrestling with our masked friends. They continue to disturb everything they possibly can out at our house. It's the fact that they have thumbs that really gets me. It's seriously like having a toddler trying to deter them from coming back.
We have 'pests' all the time. After all we live in "The Country". There are all kinds of critters out here. I've also decided that Boxelder Bugs, qualify as critters!! The deer eat the apples, we eat the deer, circle of life. Racoons eat grain, cat food, kitten legs, we eat none of the above. Food chain maybe fits here, not sure. Just let me go with this - killing little critters is not something I ever imagined would be happening in my first hand life, so the struggle is still there. I like to eat animals, yes. I do not like to look at thier faces before I eat them, no.
However, when they are as destructive as these little monsters, I'm considering sticking one of those fat boys in a crock pot with some BBQ sauce and eating it late night, outside my window, just to show that little bugger who has worked the shutter off, What's Up. And I'll hold and stroke so lovingly the kitten that he attacked. And when he looks at me with his little innocent eyes, I'll cry. That probably isn't the best idea. I'll just stay inside and let the rest of my family handle this problem.
I had posted this picture to Facebook a couple weeks ago.
The funny part of this story is that D told me I had to shoot it, like that would ever happen. To which I promptly replied that he had to shoot this creature - he is the Man, this is Man's work, I would just stay inside and make lunches for our family, this is Woman's work - and before I can finish this sentence, our little girl, a little Woman, comes tearing out of her room and asks if she can shoot it. Proud Daddy Moment. I did what any good Mom would do and grabbed the camera.
I was worried about what would happen when it was actually time to pull the trigger.
Now, mind you, this is the same child who last year when cleaning a deer, used the legs as telephones and had conversations with imaginary people while talking into the hoof. It was rather disturbing.
Nonetheless, I was still worried, she is my little angel, my kind hearted mini me, I could never do something like this, this is why I have D. I was thinking she would get nervous and not be able to do it. I was hoping that she would see it's eyes and change her mind. I was praying that she would have some overwhelming feeling regarding stopping another heartbeat.
But she didn't.
And she did it.
And was so proud.
And her Dad was so proud.
I threw up in my mouth and cried on the inside.
So, a few days later during a long practice session - she says all she wants in her stocking for Christmas is "a new can of BB's".
Lord help me, why does D steal all my girls?!?!?!
If not, don't say I didn't warn you.
We are still wrestling with our masked friends. They continue to disturb everything they possibly can out at our house. It's the fact that they have thumbs that really gets me. It's seriously like having a toddler trying to deter them from coming back.
We have 'pests' all the time. After all we live in "The Country". There are all kinds of critters out here. I've also decided that Boxelder Bugs, qualify as critters!! The deer eat the apples, we eat the deer, circle of life. Racoons eat grain, cat food, kitten legs, we eat none of the above. Food chain maybe fits here, not sure. Just let me go with this - killing little critters is not something I ever imagined would be happening in my first hand life, so the struggle is still there. I like to eat animals, yes. I do not like to look at thier faces before I eat them, no.
However, when they are as destructive as these little monsters, I'm considering sticking one of those fat boys in a crock pot with some BBQ sauce and eating it late night, outside my window, just to show that little bugger who has worked the shutter off, What's Up. And I'll hold and stroke so lovingly the kitten that he attacked. And when he looks at me with his little innocent eyes, I'll cry. That probably isn't the best idea. I'll just stay inside and let the rest of my family handle this problem.
I had posted this picture to Facebook a couple weeks ago.
The funny part of this story is that D told me I had to shoot it, like that would ever happen. To which I promptly replied that he had to shoot this creature - he is the Man, this is Man's work, I would just stay inside and make lunches for our family, this is Woman's work - and before I can finish this sentence, our little girl, a little Woman, comes tearing out of her room and asks if she can shoot it. Proud Daddy Moment. I did what any good Mom would do and grabbed the camera.
I was worried about what would happen when it was actually time to pull the trigger.
Now, mind you, this is the same child who last year when cleaning a deer, used the legs as telephones and had conversations with imaginary people while talking into the hoof. It was rather disturbing.
Nonetheless, I was still worried, she is my little angel, my kind hearted mini me, I could never do something like this, this is why I have D. I was thinking she would get nervous and not be able to do it. I was hoping that she would see it's eyes and change her mind. I was praying that she would have some overwhelming feeling regarding stopping another heartbeat.
But she didn't.
And she did it.
And was so proud.
And her Dad was so proud.
I threw up in my mouth and cried on the inside.
So, a few days later during a long practice session - she says all she wants in her stocking for Christmas is "a new can of BB's".
Lord help me, why does D steal all my girls?!?!?!
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